As you know from reading Lindy’s update, we were disappointed to learn that Lindy would not be able to donate eggs for Jamie and me. I had also gone through a “mini stimulation” to see if I could produce eggs, but unfortunately, I did not respond. I think it’s amazing what stress can do to a body and I believe stress knocked out both Lindy’s and my fertility.
Like Lindy said, I am also proud of all of us in how we handled the situation. It was disappointing for sure, but it also made sense to stop the process when we did. Jamie and I decided that our next step would to be to find an egg donor. We were both hopeful that we could use the same donor for our children to have a genetic link.
We had several friends searching for egg donors on our behalf, and amazingly, it did not take long for someone to volunteer. A wonderful young woman heard about our story and was willing to help. We soon started chatting with her (I will protect her privacy and keep her anonymous) and she established care at the fertility clinic. She was deemed a “good match” for us, and we were able to start the process.
I have really learned how crazy the fertility industry is and my heart goes out to the many women who have needed fertility help. There are an insane amount of hoops to jump through just to get to the egg retrieval. We needed a legal contract, a psychological evaluation, many blood tests and ultrasounds, egg donation insurance, medications, etc. Time was flying by, but we finally checked all the boxes, and the first egg retrieval was right before Thanksgiving. Jamie and I had hoped to split the batch of eggs, but at the last minute, we learned the lab fees for splitting would increase the costs exponentially. It was decided that I would take this first batch. We started with 29 eggs and ended up with 7 normal embryos. The attrition rate is shocking, but our physician was happy with the result.
The next step is to prepare my body for the embryo transfer. This will require hormone therapy to mimic pregnancy. Another process in itself! I will be considered geriatric and high risk, but hopefully this will all be worth it.
Our egg donor will be starting the process for Jamie soon and we are so thankful for her. We could never repay what she has done for our family. If all goes well, Jamie and I will have babies close in age.
While we haven’t ruled out adoption, I am thankful for science and the many ways to become a parent this day and age. We would also like to normalize egg donation and let everyone know there is no shame in needing help, nor does it make you any less of a mother. And while I will always wish Dylan was here and I didn’t need to do this, I am glad there are options.
If you would like to learn more about egg donation, this article explains things well: