Note: This post is a continuation of Jamie’s journey with endometriosis and IVF Part 1. While the IVF round she describes here occurred in June 2018, she also addressed current infertility status as of December 2019 in this post.
After going home and processing that we may not be able to have a child using my own eggs through IVF, we decided that a less than 5% chance still was not zero.
More research and reading uplifting stories of miracle babies… Brandon and I decided it was still worth a shot… pun intended.
I had already been to two fertility clinics and needed a place we felt would give us our best chance. We landed on a nonprofit research hospital with a doctor that had heart and insane intelligence.
She decided to put me on another supplement called DHEA in a heavy dosage for three months to try to “revive” my ovaries.
Done. Granted… this also gave me hot flashes, acne, hair growth, etc but so worth it.
I ended up doing this for almost six months. Tested and still my numbers were not looking good, but we were moving forward with IVF because time was of the essence.
As many of you who have been through IVF know, the saline infused sonogram (SIS) is standard. We need a perfectly smooth uterus to implant. While this is a minor procedure, it was incredibly uncomfortable for me and I almost passed out following it.
I got my results immediately, and par for the course… my uterus had polyps. Still, just a minor surgery to remove.. so yes. We did that. Then we had to wait just a bit for recovery. No problem at this point.
By now it’s spring again. My uterus is smooth, and my ovaries should be the best I can get them.
IVF time!!
At this point that felt fairly easy. It was a lot of appointments, blood draws, and ultrasounds but for an end game it was easy.
We did the daily injections and prayed.
Egg retrieval day came and we did have ONE follicle that looked promising. That was what we had been asking for.
I talked to my doctor the day before and she said, “Are you sure you want to proceed tomorrow with retrieval? The odds aren’t great.”
Of course we did. One was all we had hoped for.
We went in the following day and I went to sleep praying that this would be our miracle baby getting taken from me to grow with science.
I woke up from anesthesia to my doctor saying things went great. She was able to retrieve two mature sized follicles!! We were elated.
We actually went and had lunch on the water and celebrated our optimistic future. That was the happiest moment that Brandon and I have shared in this journey.
I had no doubt that one of these would become our child.
After retrieval, the lab introduced Brandon’s sperm for fertilization.
By the third day my doctor called to let me know that neither follicle had fertilized.
She said, “I’ll give it another day.”
I still had big hopes.
Then…
It was done.
The final call was brutal. I didn’t process it right away.
I called back a few minutes after with questions and tears… my doctor cried with me.
I asked if it was worth another cycle and she said you can always try but she didn’t expect any different results. “I’m so sorry, Jamie.”
I have so much admiration, respect, and love for her. She was honest and caring. I know so many couples have endured countless procedures, IUIs (intrauterine insemination)/ miscarriages/ IVF cycles and I love that many have been successful.
For me, with my own body,,. I knew that this was our try.
It didn’t turn out how I expected. In fact… it shattered me.
Choosing joy was not easy and did not happen right away. I do feel like I have grieved the idea of having a child from my own egg. Now, I see how fortunate I am to live in this time where there are many ways to become a mother, and I am open.
We are still hoping to use Lindy as our egg donor. Read about her initial testing and that process with the initial appointment and testing here and the latest update here.