The six month mark came and went. Six months without Dylan. It still feels incredibly surreal. I look at pictures from years past and wonder how our beautiful, healthy daughter could be gone. We continue to put one foot in front of the other. Some days are harder than others. I relish the days that I feel a bit lighter and can smile more easily.
We are establishing a new normal, or as normal as anyone’s lives are these days. Jeff has recovered from open heart surgery in August. This was an expected surgery, as he needed a valve replacement. (He was born with a bicuspid aortic valve) The surgery forced him to slow down a little and face his own grief. He is feeling great now (better than before) and is back to working like a crazy man. Mason is back to school two days a week, which is great for both him and me! I struggle the most out of the three of us. I was with Dylan almost 24/7 for her entire battle. I was her caregiver, her person. I’m admittedly a little lost right now as I forge a new path. Grief sure messes with both your mind and body.
We are moving forward with the plan to have another baby. No, I never thought about becoming pregnant at the age of 43, but we both feel it is something we need to do for our family. I recognize this decision isn’t right or even possible for everyone. Dylan could never be replaced and she will always be a big sister for anyone who joins our family. Her desire at one point was for Jeff to have a baby boy and for me to have a baby girl. If only it worked like that! I will write more about that process soon.
The bakery continues to be a great way to honor Dylan. The support we have received through the bakery and her foundation has been incredible. We appreciate the love and support so much. I know Dylan will never be forgotten.
