When I found out I was pregnant with Penny in the fall of 2012, Mark and I were thrilled. However, I quickly realized the due date, July 29th, was horrible timing. It was just days prior to Jamie and Brandon’s wedding planned for August 3rd across the state. Over and over I heard that first babies usually come late, and I had a lot of angst over whether I would be able to attend the wedding (not to mention what size and style bridesmaid dress to order!). Luckily, Penny decided to show up eight days early. Born July 21st, 2013, she was thirteen days old at their wedding and all was well.
When Penny was two and a half, we decided we were ready to add to the family. I got pregnant quickly and Oscar was born in October of 2016. The transition from one to two children was a rough one for our family, particularly for me. While Mark and I had never set a number of children we were hoping to have, I think we both were leaning toward three since we each come from families of three kids. However, after Oscar was born and the adjustment to being a family of four was somewhat rough, both Mark and I were starting to think that maybe our family was complete. Also during this time, Jamie was in the midst of fertility struggles and the possibility of me being an egg donor for her was tossed around.
In September of 2017, I confided to a coworker/friend that I was feeling a bit nauseated. I believe my exact words were, “It’s that kind of nausea,” knowing that she would read between the lines since we both get quite queasy when pregnant. After a few days of that feeling, I decided to take a pregnancy test. A dark line on the test showed up instantaneously and I was in shock. Oscar wasn’t even one yet. Our part-time daycare bill was already excessive. We had just completed an expensive home remodel. And, most importantly, I was supposed to be ready to donate eggs to Jamie once I weaned Oscar!
Jamie was the first family member I told about being pregnant. I remember feeling so terrible and guilty as I called her in tears. I apologetically told her that I was pregnant. Not only did I feel awful as this would likely eliminate me as an egg donor for several years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, but also it felt like rubbing salt in her wounds. Hey, I know you’ve been struggling for years to get pregnant, but guess what? It just happened to me by accident! She responded with grace, saying she was so excited for us and they could purchase other donor eggs.
Archer was born May 2018 and it goes without saying that we are thrilled he is part of the family. While it took me a while to wrap my head around a third child being added to the family so quickly, I am happy it worked out the way it did. I think we would have talked ourselves out of another child if we had waited. Our children have big personalities (a nice way of saying they are extremely strong-willed and stubborn) and don’t seem to like sleep as much as I do. I have nothing but respect for the moms out there that have multiple children close together! Things are chaotic and hard at times. But now more than ever, I am fully aware of how fortunate I am to have gotten pregnant so easily and to have three healthy children.
The idea of egg donation circled back around when Dylan was diagnosed with DIPG in August 2018. Casey and Jeff began contemplating adding to their family, and when Casey’s numbers didn’t look so great for getting her own eggs, the idea of using me as an egg donor was brought up. Jamie’s IVF plans had been put on hold with Dylan’s diagnosis, so it was only natural that I would donate eggs to both sisters.
We are now in the process of pursuing this, and I am extremely hopeful that I have plenty of viable eggs to give to Casey and Jamie. Stay tuned for more updates throughout the journey.
