It seems like during December, there is a feeling of excitement leading up to the holidays. There can also be a great deal of additional stress and busyness during this time too, with extra events, performances, concerts, open houses….the list goes on and on. Not to mention decorating for the season, buying and wrapping gifts, and keeping up with the rest of your daily life!
Particularly this year, we are trying to minimize the additional stress while still embracing the excitement and joy. Here are the specific areas we are simplifying and how:
Décor
Carefully select what is displayed.
You don’t have to put out everything. I (Lindy) have a special nativity set from our mom’s side of the family, but I don’t have a great place to put it this year where it would be safe from the 1- and 3-year-olds, so it will stay in its box. The only things that came out were items the kids can play with, knowing they could get broken.
Keep the tree simple.
Casey’s family usually cuts down a tree. This year, it was simpler to buy a fake tree that was prelit. They also have kittens that are prone to climbing the tree, so no ornaments! The tree still looks beautiful, and nice and simple. Jamie is wishing she employed this strategy, as Benny has destroyed some of their lights and ornaments! They now have a half-decorated tree. 😊
Store your non-holiday décor in the holiday boxes.
Maybe others already do this, but this was a big realization for me a few years ago. I hated the cluttered feeling when I put out my holiday items, so I started boxing up the normal décor in the holiday totes. This way, the holiday items replace the usual décor and there isn’t added clutter.
We have special Christmas dishes that our mom gave to each of us, so rather than add those into my already full pantry, I just box up my normal plates (into the holiday plate tote) and use only the Christmas dishes during December. I really enjoy this because we get a lot of use out of the dishes, rather than saving them for “special occasions.”
Gifts
Opt out!
Call me a Scrooge, but I often don’t participate in gift exchanges. I have always felt awkward initiating the conversation with a friend or coworker suggesting that we don’t exchange gifts, but it has typically been met with relief from the other party. At my previous workplace, they did an ornament exchange at our Christmas party. Instead of bringing an ornament, I was the reader of the game. I still got to participate but didn’t have to buy or take home an additional ornament I didn’t really want or need.
Set up exchanges or name drawings.
In both my and Mark’s family, we started drawing names instead of buying for everyone. In addition to shopping for fewer people, the benefit of buying for one is that you can get something a bit more expensive for that person. Starting last year on my side of the family, adults don’t exchange at all and we only buy for the kids. I don’t think any of us have noticed any reduction in holiday joy.
Consider recycled toys! This year I am very excited because we are doing a cousin gift exchange of recycled toys on Mark’s side of the family. Simple and eco-friendly! There are six cousins, so we paired them up and they are exchanging already-loved toys. Most of the cousins are close in age so this works well. I did slip cash into the 11-year-old’s envelope since my 3-year-old doesn’t have a ton to offer him. 😉
Donate to a charity in someone’s honor.
To contribute to the fight against DIPG, check our list of great organizations here.
Buy experiences instead of stuff.
I love it when my children are gifted experiences rather than more toys. Last year, my in-laws took Penny to see The Nutcracker and she loved it. Then they gifted her The Nutcracker book as her present to open. Whenever family members ask me what the kids want, I always suggest an experience (movie tickets, arcade money, ice cream shop gift certificate) or time spent one-on-one with that child. Experiences are great for adults too. I think we can all appreciate a gift card to our favorite restaurant or the local coffee stand.
Consider memorable gifts.
My in-laws are moving next year, so I didn’t want to add much to what they will have to move. Instead, I made some memorable gifts on Shutterfly that I think they will really like. I especially like the calendars you can personalize because it is consumable and after the year is up, they can save it or recycle it.
Holiday Cards
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t do them!
Opt out if you don’t feel like sending them this year or don’t have the bandwidth.
Consider sending an email instead.
This saves you the cost of the card and postage, as well as the time stuffing and addressing!
Cards can be sent at other times than Christmas.
We have some family friends that send their cards around Thanksgiving every year, and I always look forward to getting it. Think about sending New Year or even Valentine’s Day cards if that is a better time for you.
Traditions
Embrace traditions but don’t be a slave to them!
Penny has hosted a cookie decorating party for the last several years. She enjoys this tradition and so do I, so we have kept doing it. I keep it minimal on the number of friends she invites, pick a time that won’t stress me out, and keep the process simple (for example, white icing only rather than numerous colors). Flexibility is important with traditions. Know that it’s ok to skip a year or put it on pause if you need to, like Casey and Jeff using a fake tree this year.
Choose simple traditions.
I love the movie Elf, so I have introduced my kids and we watch it every year. We usually drive around and look at Christmas lights one night; this is easy as the kids get in and out of the car once rather than several transfers. Reading your favorite holiday books together is a wonderful, easy tradition. Our dad always reads “The Night Before Christmas” to the grandkids on Christmas Eve.
If we do something once, it is a tradition in my kids’ eyes. We made cinnamon rolls one year, so now they want to make them every year for Christmas. If I’m not up for making cinnamon rolls from scratch this year (especially after the cookie party baking), I may just buy a tube of cinnamon rolls and bake those up as an easy solution. I’m still working on accepting that things don’t always have to be perfect.
Events
Think wisely about how many events you commit to.
We tend to say yes to everything we’re invited to, especially my husband. That can be exhausting for me as an introvert, and particularly when I factor in juggling the kids, it can get to be too much. I like to look at our overall week and make sure we aren’t overscheduled. Tree lighting ceremonies and open houses always sound fun, but sometimes expectations of events are better than reality. When it’s 5 pm and the toddler is hungry, whiny, and tired, I would prefer to be home.
Casey has been working on minimizing the number of events this year as well. Dylan sometimes gets overwhelmed with large groups, and playdates are typically better one-on-one instead of groups, so she carefully considers events before they go.
Divide and conquer.
Mark and I use this strategy a lot. Penny is at an age where she is more adaptable and easier to travel with. One of us will take her to something like said tree lighting while the other stays back with the younger kids, who tend to melt down at the first pang of hunger.
Carefully consider travel.
This will be Mark and my first year of waking up in our own house on Christmas morning since we were married in 2010. We have spent every Christmas at relatives’ places, usually our parents’ houses. We decided not to travel this year for many reasons, but partly because the travel takes a big toll on the family with the hours in the car, disrupted sleep, etc. We look forward to the kids waking up in their own house this year and having a little more time as our family of five. While we will miss the time with extended family, we are doing what is best for us right now and look forward to a time that travel is a little more enjoyable and restful.
If you do travel, try to have your own space. Last year we traveled for Christmas to be with Dylan, but we stayed in a hotel since it can get a little chaotic at Casey’s when we are all there. This worked out well for everyone; the cousins got along better because they had time apart, and we got some quieter family time in as well.
Such good thoughts – have read through it more than once!
Thank you, Susie!
We do a game for adults, each person buys a same sex gift and a neutral gift. We then draw numbers for each category: male, female, and neutral. We go in order and every one gets to pick a new gift or steal a gift up to 3 times. Once a gift has been stolen 3 times it’s frozen. Whoever has #1 gets to do the final steal or stick with the gift they have. It’s super fun. Gifts need to be about $40 value. Super fun! We all buy for the kids.
I enjoyed reading your ideas.
I love that game idea, Vera! We have played a similar one with our extended family, and it is always fun when gifts start getting stolen! I like the categories that you add!